“Saw an old lady cross the road gingerly, wrinkled smile and waved as the made her way in front of our car. My friend marvelled how healthy she looked with perfect vision. Then, in a perfect killjoy moment, she lit a cigarette and took a deep puff.

— Emmanuel Joseph

“Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.”

— Joss Whedon

“When cheese gets it’s picture taken, what does it say?

— Bruce Swedal

“Why do they call it taking a dump, when you’re not taking a dump, but leaving a dump?

— Bruce Swedal

“I can’t imagine randomly phoning up a lawyer out of the Yellow Pages because I wanted to pick his brain for free. Yet this is common online.

— Aaron Wall